Stage 1: Poland / Lithuania. The Hardest Days Night Yet

Question: what looks like a tarmac road, is made like a tarmac road and, in fact, is a tarmac road but handles like a rutted farm track in winter? Answer: the slow lane of every single dual-carriageway in Poland.

On days nine and ten of the FTFE Challenge, our progress has been slow and rather nerve-wracking. We pulled out of beautiful Krakow in South Poland on Monday looking forward to a long and potentially drab motorway cruise up to the Polish capital Warsaw. Following a sombre and very moving visit to the Auschwitz Concentration Camp Museum, we soon discovered that ours was not to be a relaxing ride as Martha began to snake and slide along the rutted tarmac of the Polish highways. Steve compared these roads to a Scalextric track; an apt description as you basically have to settle the truck wheels into the ruts, keep both hands firmly on the wheel, concentrate and hope for the best! Our solution for this challenging terrain has been to follow the advice of our expert HGV instructor Keith Bute, and substantially reduce our road speed – advice not followed, it should be pointed out, by our Polish trucker counterparts, who blithely thundered past us throughout the journey. This go-slow approach has meant that we only averaged about 37mph on days 9 and 10. Still, slow progress is better than no progress of course… 

 The weather has also turned against us, grey skies and heavy rain accompanying us throughout Poland, only adding to the bleakness of the post-Eastern Bloc mise-en-scène: crumbling high-rises, gaudy billboard commercials for unfamiliar products, a solitary dog standing on a remote garage forecourt, dilapidated bus stops, overgrown rail tracks, expansive wheat fields battered by the wind and rain… you get the picture! To compound this, we discovered that poor Martha had sprung a leak as rain water began to drip into the cab above the driver’s head… Some swift tarpaulin work from Ross and Steve prevented a minor lake developing in the driver’s foot-well overnight in Krakow.

Hats off to all the FTFE drivers for admirably facing up to these challenges, especially Steve and Chris who anchored us into Krakow and Warsaw respectively in very trying circumstances.  It’s fair to say that, aside from the highly impressive and atmospheric old centres of Krakow and Warsaw and very hospitable locals, the overall feeling among the FTFE crew was that the sooner we could tick off the Polish leg off our journey the better!

It was with some relief then that we finally crossed the border into Lithuania. As if by magic, the heavy grey skies cleared and the terrain transformed into lush, rolling countryside, dotted with pretty and colourful cottages, mighty stork nests and silent pine forests… If it sounds like something out of a fairytale, that’s exactly how it felt!! Having struggled through Poland, Martha herself  seemed to take on a new lease of energy, purring her way through the weaving Lithuanian country lanes into Vilnius, where we met our estimable and surprisingly tall fixer Tadas, who is part of the Globalink logistics network. With his help,  we have secured some sumptuous accommodation in a 4 star hotel in the city centre… very much appreciated and very unfamiliar to us after a week and a half roughing it in campsites or hostels.

Throughout this challenging couple of days, team morale has remained strong – in tough driving conditions the whole team has been very supportive of one another and a rather robust sense of humour has helped to keep us all on the straight and narrow; however, on those occasions when our mental energy levels drop, we can see that a certain fractiousness takes hold: guilty as charged your honour – I myself took exception to Ross’s behind-the-back facemaking while I was  trying to record a piece to camera – honestly, it’s just not professional, is it? Meanwhile Stevie got a little upset when we refused to play Paper/Scissors/Stone to decide bed entitlement in our hostel in Warsaw… As you can see, it’s all fairly minor stuff really, but it might be time to revive that “Swearjar” blackboard; when I return from the FTFE next Sunday, it’s going to take several *&*%##* days for me to be able to readapt my *@*##** vocabulary to polite *@@*##*^* society!!

Hasta pronto amigos!

George

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